Bully such a small word such a big impact

Tortured,sheltered and hurt. I hid myself from you for so long. The beatings I’d get. The bruises and cuts they would  heal in time. But the scars left behind from your words. The vicious vile sentances that fell from your lips, they would curl and swirl around my head, make me dizzy and nauseated for the years that would follow. You were big to me, a giant of a person. Myself small and frail tiny even. I felt as if I’d get lost in your shadow as you towered above me  blocking out any light. It was as if you held me down with your own dark hands ready to drown me in the darkness of your own presence. I brace myself for a hard hit. Cowered down, my knees tucked into my chin. It will be over in a bit I thought to myself as the blows rained down,  i can still hear your laugh a deep cackle as each punch or kick collided with my body. Eventually you would of had your fill and walk away muttering some nasty insult about me, it rubbed salt into my wounds, leaving me cold and ashamed. I’d wait until you were out of sight I’d stand up, pain etched into my face, I’m not sure if I can feel tears or blood run from my cheeks. One day I think to myself ONE day your time will come!. “The bigger they are the harder they fall” was the saying my dad would use if only that were true, in my case the bigger they were the harder they would hit! Im older now maybe a little  wiser but definitely stronger more strong than you can ever imagine I don’t need my fists to bring you down for my words will do all that they need to do… FEAR you!! No not ever again your shadow will never darken me again my light is way more powerful and those words you would use to humiliate and cut me like a hot knife through butter wouldn’t penetrate anything. Im not hard or big! I hav’nt even grown that much I’m not anything really, but one thing I’m not and would never be is like you a bully…. I didn’t  tolerate it then i don’t tolerate it now. Yes you still darken some of my days. even now! 20 years on. But do you make the impact you did? No of course you don’t I’d love to see you now all these years that have past!  I want you to look me in the eyes. It will be me that stands tall it will be my shadow that engulfs you and not through fear not like the grip you had me in. But you will driwn in my pitty. And I think that’s the worst punishment people like you can get…. pitty! It’s all your worth at the end of the day. So from me to you once and for always GOODBYE2017-10-19_20.21.56

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